is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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