Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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