Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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