I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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