I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
