shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
