glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
