You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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