I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
