i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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