His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
