Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
