I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
