he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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