We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
