He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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