how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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