The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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