I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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