Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
