TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
