You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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