We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hippo gnu deer
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
