p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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