So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
