At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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