How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
