Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
