dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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