Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
