morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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