That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I love having hate sex.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
