You can't motorboat a personality
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
