She is in my trunk
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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