You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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