the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
