So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
