So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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