My underwear smells like fireworks.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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