I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
