dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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