one two three fourrrrnication!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
