please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
