and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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