Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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