Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I understand Curling. That high.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
