I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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