So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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