party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
