The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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