Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
