Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
